This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
