Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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