You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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