Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
