Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
