I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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