UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
