I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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