You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize