I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
