I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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