this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
