Sponge bath it is.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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