Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
