im drinking this country out of the recession.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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