mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
