Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
