Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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