I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
