so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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