her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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