yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
