so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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