Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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