she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
