I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
