I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize