On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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