Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
