I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
