I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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