So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just pee around me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
