You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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