She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread