I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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