lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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