God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
