And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
