The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Randomize
