just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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