8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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