...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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