yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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