forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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