I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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