And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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