Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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