I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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