Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
