There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
