Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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