i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
