UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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