how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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