stop calling my apartment porn island.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize