i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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