OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
