I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This house was built for laser tag.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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