it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
