If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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