And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
