Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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