sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She told me I should be a condom model.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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