I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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